Ramblings about Pilates...
It’s Monday again. Where does the time go? For yours truly, last week was spent traipsing through the Rocky Mountains with some of my work mates. It was a very lovely experience getting to meet folks in real life after working with some of them for nearly a year in the virtual realm. We explored mountain tops, toured a haunted hotel, learned more about each other’s roles in the company (and life in general) and drank lots of wine. Success! That’s all nice, but what stood out for me this past week was reconnecting with my passion for sharing Pilates with people.
During the work trip, a few team mates asked if I could lead a Yoga session. I told them I teach Pilates, but I could fake a Yoga class. 6 out of the 14 showed up early Wednesday morning, ready to move. I didn’t fake a Yoga class, I went full on Pilates with them. They loved it! This confirmed my suspicion that most people either have no idea what Pilates really is, or they have a distorted perception of it. I know I did. When I first heard about it I thought, “Nope. I’m not a dancer or some skinny rich, white woman. That’s not for me.” I never imagined that I’d be a certified Pilates instructor! And yet here we are. I’m so close to that Balanced Body Comprehensive Certification I can taste it!
So why Pilates? How the hell did I overcome my fears of not only going to group fitness classes, but leading them? I’m glad you asked. Pull up a mat and let’s chat. The story really starts about 12 years ago. When I walked out of the hospital after birthing Ev, I weighed 280 pounds. The largest I’d ever been in my life. Sure, some of it was baby weight. But a lot of it was that I was an exhausted new mom (Hank was only 1.5 years old when Ev was born). I didn’t have postpartum depression. No, I had postpartum rage. It’s real. It’s scary. Part of what made me feel better was moving my body, by myself. Without anyone. I needed alone time to recover my Jess-ness. It was nearly impossible to get that alone time. But eventually over the years, I started sneaking in walks during the work day. When Ev was about 5, I’d gotten down to about 235 by walking/biking/eliptical and eating healthy. That wasn’t enough and I was stuck. I couldn’t make the scale budge. So, I did the unthinkable. I started running.
I told myself my whole life that I could NOT run. “It’s impossible. You’re too big. Your knees can’t take it. You’ll look stupid because you’re not fit like everyone else.” So many dumb lies I believed. But I was determined. I was going to be healthy so that I could be the best mom and partner I could be. I started running. I really thought my lungs and heart would explode that first run. I made it less than a minute. I kept it up. Eventually over the following years, I was running 3 miles every other day and I’d even built up to running 12 miles! I was down to 175 pounds and was feeling pretty awesome. I finally had the confidence to go to a group fitness class. (Please don’t be an idiot like me and wait until you hit some ridiculous ideal weight before you decide to go to a class!) I started doing Barre and Pilates at the YMCA. I LOVED it! In fact, I was encouraged by one of my favorite instructors to explore getting trained to teach. At first, I laughed it off. Me, a Pilates instructor? Yeah, right! I don’t look like them. (Are you seeing a pattern here of how much my inner critics talk so much shit to me?)
I was curious, and signed up. I thought if I could feel so confident and competent in my body, I should explore how I might be able to give that gift to others. The first weekend training session I called Chuck in tears at the lunch break. “I can’t do this. I don’t fit in. I’m not a fitness instructor like everyone else. They’re all super feminine. I don’t belong here.” Chuck assured me that I did in fact belong anywhere I decided to be. He’s the best! I went back in and gave it my all. Almost three years later, here I am. 11 weekend training sessions, nearly 500 hours of combined training and practice teaching time logged. I only teach like 2 - 3 times a week, but my heart sings when I’m sharing the gift of wellness with a friend. I don’t call it fitness anymore. That word has too much baggage and connotation. Wellness is much more appropriate, as Pilates not only makes you feel better in your body, but helps you feel an over all sense of balance in life. Well, it does for me anyway.
If you’re interested in exploring Pilates, hit me up. I teach a virtual class to my dear friends every Saturday. There is a bit of a hazing process from them to get in, but I think you’ll find it’s worth it.