The Spice Must Flow
Most people who know anything about me know I’m obsessed with Frank Herbert’s Dune books. It all started when I was 16. I was with a couple of my friends and we were on acid. I know, right? I was 16 when I first tripped. (PSA: I do NOT recommend you do this. I’m actually terrified at the thought of doing it and given the opportunity would not trip again unless under the guidance of a trained psychotherapist. I only share this story in an effort to share my authentic experiences.)
Those of you who knew me back then know I was a bit of an odd duck. I wasn’t into drinking, drugs or sex. Sports weren’t my thing. I could sort of fit in anywhere, but felt out of place everywhere. I was a band nerd. Drum major of the band, in fact. First chair saxophone. Took French, German and Japanese classes, got all A’s. Ran for homecoming court senior year as a joke and got 2nd runner up. Graduated 9th in my class, even though most people didn’t realize I was that smart. What’s my point here? I guess I want to try to convince you that I never felt like I was one of the cool kids and I certainly did not do drugs recreationally. I didn’t have time for that shit.
Before we talk about Dune, we have to talk about that trip. I was scared to death to do it. I had heard stories of how people went insane and never came back to reality. In a way, that sort of happened for me. I was finally able to remove the cloud that was always there. The veil that kept me from seeing my true self. It was truly a beautiful, hilarious, life-changing experience. I found my essence, which is laughter and pure love. My rage and anger felt like unnecessary allies once I cleared the fog. Then, the effects wore off and I was back in reality. But I was different. I retained some of the lessons I learned, but life went on around me and I adapted to fit in as best I could.
Over the course of the next 4 years or so I tripped about 10 more times. Each time, learning something new about myself and each time realizing that I could hold on to the freedom and mental clarity I felt long after the trip ended. I finally came to the realization that I didn’t need it anymore, because I’d gotten all I could get from it. I wasn’t doing it to escape. I was doing it to re-connect. (Pardon my hippie bullshit ramblings, but it is what it is, folks.)
To this day, I still try to pull the veil aside, through meditation and self-reflection, and let the authentic Jess shine through. It is really hard. People want, nay need, you to be the person they think you are. They put you in a little frame in their mind and say, “There. That’s Jess. Just like this.” and then when you change the picture in the frame and show the authentic, unbridled version of yourself, people react in all sorts of ways. Anger, disappointment, sadness, but sometimes acceptance, nurturing, supporting. Just depends where they are on their journey. Anyhoo, I digress.
Now we can talk about Dune. I escaped to the worlds of Dune after my first trip. With intense mental clarity, I read the words that Frank Herbert put to paper 30 years earlier. I wasn’t just entertained by these books, I felt the life lessons pour off of each page. How to deal with fear, hatred, love, power, politics, religion, ecology, self-reflection, growth, adaptability, you name it. He touched on it. I was a convert. I’ve re-read the original six novels at least 10 times over the past 25 years. I’ve read all the prequels that his kid wrote over the past 10 years or so. Each time I re-read them, I find another great nugget of wisdom. I keep these nuggets in a journal, and read those excerpts to help me think through sticky problems in my life. For everything, there is a Dune quote. Some examples:
Finding yourself stuck in a nostalgic rut? — “Most people believe that a satisfactory future requires a return to an idealized past, a past which never in fact existed.” - Dune: God Emperor of Dune
Not sure how you feel about police? — “Police always observe that criminals prosper. It takes a pretty dull policeman to miss the fact that the position of authority is the most prosperous criminal position available.” - Dune: God Emperor of Dune
Or the criminal justice system? — “Laws are dangerous to everyone, innocent and guilty alike, because they have no human understanding in and of themselves. They must be interpreted.” - Dune: House Corrino
Stuck in a control-seeking cycle? — “It is said that there is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe - that nothing remains in its original state, that each day, each hour, each moment, there is change.” - Dune
You’re angry at the world but sorta know it’s your fault? — “Beware the seeds you sow & the crops you reap. Do not curse god for the punishment you inflict upon yourself.” - Dune
And finally (for now anyway, there’s always more should you ask…) the one I use oh, so often, since we live in a society that not only breeds a culture of fear, but relies on it. The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear —
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” - Dune
Speaking of the Litany Against Fear, I’ll be off now repeating it on a loop, realizing that I just shared with you all that I’m insane. Or maybe it's more like what Kurt Vonnegut said, “A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.”
Ta-ta for now, friends.